We won't sleep together?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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