My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
