I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
