so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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