i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
