Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
