careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
