I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
time to smoke my breakfast
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
