New invention idea: vibrating tampons
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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