Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
