I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
