I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The feeling are messing with the penis
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize