I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
either way he was missing a nipple.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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