You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
