I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
