i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
