Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
