Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
