no you cant smoke seaweed
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
