Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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