The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
