It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
