One girl and one boy is just not enough.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
