This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
