Kiss
Puke
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Randomize