I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
