So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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