One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
he was CRYING into my vagina
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Rumble strips road head = magical
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
