idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
