I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
