Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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