Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just had sex bonerless
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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