i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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