Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
