Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize