Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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