she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize