she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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