I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
