she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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