Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
