Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize