I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
