what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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