im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I wish I only lived at night.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
