Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
