its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
