watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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