We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
