But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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