I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
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