i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
