Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I have fence marks all over my body
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
