So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
