Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
