Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
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