I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
