Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
