youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
