They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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