she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
