remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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